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However, this leaves me a bit a mute... negative feelings, desperate feelings, can't be altered simply because I know I should keep them to myself. I feel a break is in order, I have a longing to remove myself from my life and run so fast, so far I will eventually blur and fade... becoming an echo and nothing more. More than ever I want to sink into my stories and fight real demons that can bleed and die, rather than emotional monsters that elude my grasp yet bury their own bony talons into my heart.
Y aqui finalmente, and finally here there may be some respite. The new book I'm working on had gone still, but a breathe has emerged. A whisper has begun to call my name, and a familiar face has resurfaced in my nightly walks, trailing along when I first leave the lake, and catching up as I proceed up the hill. I will, of course, do everything possible to proceed in my own life, tirelessly looking for work (I did manage to secure a temporary gig), but I long to lose myself in the midst of my friend's world.
6 comments:
i know that feeling, that putting away the words that sometimes need to be shouted. i would run with you if you ran, if you knew a place.
but - i am glad you hear a whisper, and i am so drawn to this new piece. i want you to stay. i will stay with you.
xoxo
ha! my word verification is sting. yes.
Hooray for whispers that you are aware enough to hear. Love you..and get writing :) xoxo
I don't see a problem with exploring, venting, and hopefully understanding negative emotions on your blog.
I don't see a problem with exploring, venting, and hopefully understanding negative emotions on your blog.
Oh, Pixie love... *sigh* I know what you mean. Wednesday was the 11th anniversary of my father's death, and I wrote a post for it and then couldn't make myself publish it. It was not a good remembrance, it was just depressing and awful.
And I know what you mean about wanting to immerse yourself in your stories--writing has always been my escape too. I'm so glad to hear you've found some temporary work, and also that your friend is speaking to you again. =) {{{hugs}}}
That restlessness and that sense of transition that you're going through are so physically tangible, aren't they? Beautiful to see you focusing on the positive and gently capturing the moments and events that give you pleasure and refreshment. As Jason said, there's no problem with posting what troubles your spirit. We only have to be careful about feeding the beast and giving it more power and energy by too much attention to negative energy. Namaste, friend.
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